"Things Our Parents Got Right"

It is so common in today's culture to bash our parents and make the definitive decision that we are NOT going to be parents like them. But have we actually taken an inventory of who we really are? It may shock us to see just how like our parents we really are!

In this episode, we're thanking our parents for the ways the unknowingly trained us up the way we were meant to go and acknowledging the good they have done for us. Let the lesson of this conversation sink in: there's a LOT our parents got right!

Transcript

welcome to the Churchosity podcast if you're looking for a place to have fun and edifying conversations about church culture then you have landed in the right spot

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what's going on everybody my name is Heath Brady and I'm Andrea Brady and we are your Churchosity podcast Personnel coming at you back in the title again I know times are interesting is it it's well interesting and fun and good things going on once again we failed to warn our listeners that we would be needing to take a week off ah so I I think I think that we've got these unexpected weeks off handled now yeah definitely knock on wood no more surprises we had our little doggy have a uh emergency yes the other day so not the puppy but our older uh Pomeranian yeah a little sugar yeah she had a little problem with her leg and yeah we spent uh a career at the Animal Hospital one day oh my gosh spent a whole week there one day yeah yeah it was torturous yes but she's fine she's good yeah she's good she's she's got better meds than we have and uh we have to keep a close eye on her cuz she likes to play she thinks that she's still a puppy sometimes I think so and she's 12 yeah so uh in dog years that's getting up there yeah she's getting had that come up so that occupied our time and uh a few episodes ago I think it was I mentioned that the month of May was going to be rather exciting for the Brady Bunch household yeah and I hinted that I may drop a few little tidbits of information about what we're up to in the month of May but we'll have to wait until next time no I'm going to drop some tidbits okay what's your tidbits well first of all part of the other reason why we had to miss a week is that we went up to Seattle to visit the kids oh yeah and some friends and we went to a concert yep so we were gone and uh forgot to record before we left that's the honest truth uh when we got up there I was like oh shoot we forgot to record uh our next episode TSK yeah so we don't have the capability of recording on the road yeah well I mean we we could but it would sound pretty bad it would yes it would and and we want here's the thing we don't do Rush jobs we don't do Force jobs when it comes to recording right we have to be in the pocket feeling it because you deserve the best that we can give you yeah otherwise it's not high quality content it's half-hearted that's right yeah half-hearted is that's the thing with a create creative kind of uh role or I have a creative job and it's kind of hard sometimes to force yourself to be creative you know you have to feel it well you have to be inspired yeah you have to be like you know not in a funk in any way right so yeah so we we got away for a few days and it was great seeing the kids in the concert and everything yeah but here's the other thing and I'm not going to tell our listeners too much about this yet but if you're listening to this episode in real time like within the day or a couple of days of launch of this episode mhm Andy you and I are heading down to Northern California yes to visit what for all intents and purposes seems like a fantastic church and congregation oh I know uh we get to visit they are going to host us I will be preaching on that Sunday why you ask I'm glad you asked because I am candidating to be the next Pastor for this church it's pretty exciting it's exciting I'm excited it's a big deal it's terrifying it's it's all of the things but I'm just I'm really excited I know you're really excited too Andy this process this call process it started like back in late September early October but really kind of hit Full Throttle uh towards the end of February yeah there there's a lot more to the story of how we ended up where we're at now which I will share later cuz this is all I want to share for now so uh especially if you're listening to us right now in real time please be praying for us yes please uh play pray that the Holy Spirit fills my tongue with the words that I'm supposed to say and not the words that Heath Brady wants to say um seriously though it's going to be great so just pray don't lay an egg yeah no egg laying uh and while and while we're down there we're also going to visit some really close family friends of ours too so it's going to be a good time I'm excited and we're not going to leave you hanging with episodes so we're we're planning ahead yes we're we're going to do better we're going to do what we do good even good well I'm sure everyone is caught up on the Revelation series they should be and if not they can always go back and listen to those that's very true cuz they're so good I mean they really are I love it thank you yeah so yeah that's that's the exciting stuff more to come uh on that uh California situation I know there's a lot of people praying we could use a lot more so yes please uh yeah yeah um other than that Andy how are you doing I'm doing great mhm yeah the sun is shining wasn't weather ridiculously awesome it's beautiful um yeah I'm feeling good the frog from my throat is gone I you know I was going to say um you actually sound like you again I know well it was allergies and I got um some new allergy medicine so I was waiting for it to kick in yeah and I think it finally kicked in so I'm very happy you sound awesome thank you although the frog is cute not going to lie it was hard I mean you know trying to push through some of those episodes where I'm froggy it was weird sure well awesome well I I I need to make a correction uhoh um on our previous episode we we said that on our next episode we were going to be discussing the problem of evil and that was the episode that we forgot to record so we're going to put that episode off for a little while okay uh because of timing and things that we have planned it's still it's still in the works it's not too far away it might be a couple episodes from this one but we're going to talk about something completely different on this conversation especially because again if you're listening in real time that means that yesterday was Mother's Day yeah so first and foremost I want to send a special special shout out to all of the moms all of the grand moms all of the great grand moms all of the moms to be we love you without you we would not even be here and and we just kind of more or less want to dedicate this episode to our [Music]

moms so we love you well and Dad's well and Dad's too because is coming that is it well it's a month away but uh in in light of all of that the conversation that Andy and I are going to Embark upon on this episode is things our parents got right that's right and we'll explain to you what that means in just a moment because before we dive into our conversation we want to remind all of you to please give us a rating especially if you want to give us five stars and don't forget to leave us a review because your ratings and your reviews not only Help popularize Churchosity podcast but they also make us a lot easier for other people to find us and we strenuously want to encourage you all to please go and check out our website look for us at church.com it is the home for all things Churchosity not just our episodes we've also got links to YouTube we've got blogs and we've got a questionnaire that will take less than 5 minutes for you to fill out and answer some simple questions for us because we want to know how to connect better with you because we like to say this is your community as well that's right so please go to church o.com fill out the survey hang out for a while and enjoy that's Churchosity.com

Well essentially I just want people give me some ideas on what they'd like us to talk about yes I mean we we come up with really good ideas but you know we' like to hear from our listeners yeah I'm sure our listeners have like over the years been like man I wish they talk about fill in the blank well if you want us to talk about fill in the blank then fill in that blank for us you know we're not mind readers duh we're not mind readers that's right all right so well let's dive in let's dive in all right so we're going to have this conversation about things our parents got right um I think that it's safe to say I I don't know if I can speak speak for everybody but I think it might be safe to say that most of us when we get to the point in our lives where we achieve adulthood and that time period is different for everybody I appreciate that yeah but when we get to the point where we start thinking about things like marriage and starting a family a lot of times uh when we're especially when we're about to become parents for the first time there's more so a focus on how I'm not going to be like my parents uh-huh and and does happen yeah and I think that every generation does this I know that I did it I I can't speak for you Andy but did you do it too um yeah there were definitely things about my childhood that I didn't like that I definitely did not want to emulate sure yeah that's that's what I'm getting at is that that thing things from our childhood that involved our parents that we were like you know I'm not going to do that or I don't want it to look like this and and that list depending on who you are can be pretty long mhm and I can't think of the last time that I sat across the table from somebody over a cup of coffee and talked about the things that I wanted to copy right right from my parents or or you know that they asked the question you know what are some things that my parents got right you know you know what I'm saying and I thought that it would be really cool as a starting point to read a verse because we do like to focus on scripture even when we're riffing uh we've all probably heard this verse it's Proverbs chap 22: [Music] 6 train up a child in the way he should go M even when he grows older he will not abandon it now as a disclaimer I am very well aware that this particular verse has been uh misappropriated in a lot of ways in church culture over time where it is used to say that if you raise your child in a Christian home they will be a Christian all of their lives in a nutshell and many of us most of us know that that is not really how it goes in all cases right what this verse is actually communicating is that we as parents recognize pretty early on what our children are gifted at yeah how they're bent how they're bent right mhm and so this is more or less uh an emphatic a command to recognize what makes our children tick and raise them in that direction yeah it literally means to train up a child in his way that's what it means in the Hebrew train up a child in the way he should go and even when he grows older he will not abandon it and as I think about the things that my parents got right and I actually because of my parenting situ ation when I was a kid I have more than one set of parents there was a lot of information that I didn't want to pull from when I became a parent but there also is a lot of information that I have duplicated mhm even of my grandparents yeah yeah so what my parents don't realize is that they inadvertently did what this verse says to do mhm so did mine they raised me no knowing what made me tick uhuh the best that they could and because of that I am who I am today and I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of that do you have a story you want to tell about that well kind of in context with you know the little excitement at the jump of the episode about this Northern California thing I I've known since I was a wee little lad that I was supposed to be a preach pracher that I was supposed to be a pastor I just I just have I've always known my whole entire life mhm and my parents and my grandparents all kind of recognized it right off the bat as well and so as early as the fourth grade huh I was leading Bible studies and preaching Min sermons at my little private Christian School up on Queen Anne Hill oh my gosh Uh I that so cute oh my gosh uh I memorized a lot of scripture M um you know and I grew up in a in a home that went to church every Sunday uh so even though that was more along the lines of you go to church on Sunday CU that's what people do it instilled this importance in my life it's part of my psychology now that the local church is Central to my life right like that is where I get my fuel my edification my fellowship everything it launch that's my launching pad if you will right and all of that is because of all of the years growing up going to church on Sunday and being in Sunday school and hearing the scriptures and memorizing scriptures like for instance just to graduate from the second grade Andy yeah I had to recite the books of the Bible in order uhhuh and John chapter 3 in the King James translation just to get out of the second grade oh that seems wild it is wild but I did it and you know what I've known the books of the Bible by heart since I was 6 years old yeah yeah so anyway you know that's just it's that's kind of a little commentary on on on what that kind of looks like but but the bottom line is is that I am the man that I am today at least all all the good qualities that I possess which aren't many but the ones that I the the good qualities that I possessed ultimately it's the Lord but it's the Lord through my parents and my grandparents training me up in the way that I was supposed to go and I haven't ever abandoned it I've wanted to and we got stories about that too we do want fist pounding on the chair don't ever ask me about going back to Seminary again because that chapter is closed and I'm never going back as I'm pounding my fist and then I sit there like oh man he's pounding his fist yeah it was we call it the Jonah moment yeah in Heath Brady's life because guess what by hook or by crook the Lord will have his way that's right I it's so funny cuz whenever he pounds if he ever pounds his fist I'm like don't do that you know what that means yeah if if if Andre and are having some kind of a disagreement and and I'm like really dug in on something she's like are you sure you don't want to pound your fist about

that I like how we can make light of things like that even if In the Heat of the Moment In the what do we call it intense meow intense moments of Fellowship yes cuz we don't have fight or arguments no so um that's just kind of the commentary that I wanted to use to kick off this conversation Andy so I I wanted I thought that it would be a really great idea to just actually like go back and forth and and name like name name it like name some things that we know for a fact that our parents got right yeah so you go first okay ladies first well in light of your comment about um training you up in the way that you're bent um I was very artistic and I still am but um my parents just really pushed that part of me to different kinds of ways that I could express myself creatively like with calligraphy with different drawings I did cartoon drawings all sorts of things and they were always very encouraging you know they tried to enter me into contests for art contests and things like that and if you wouldn't win your father would say it was rigged yeah I mean he was I have to say my dad um was like my number one fan which he was a big cheerleader for you he was such a big cheerleader for me and he just really delighted in me I I mean that was like gosh I'm going to tear up thinking about it it was so beautiful and my mom spent hours you know drawing with me as a kid like she would draw something and then I would draw something and we'd make up stories and my mom is gifted in um writing she's a really good writer she writes poems and she writes stories so that's her giftedness and um she's also good at Art and so it was fun for us to um she'd write a story and we'd illustrate it and things like that so they were really really good at um pushing me to excel in art and and you and you definitely have yes well and fast forward um another thing here I'm grateful that my father pushed education at a young age he I can remember in first grade for homework one day we had to fill out a little sheet that was like a worksheet like all about me and it talked about like what I want to be when I grew up and in the first grade yeah wow where I was where I wanted to go to high school where I thought I'd go to college things like that and I remember this I mean I was like six isn't it weird that I would remember this but anyway my parents helped me fill it out and you know my parents especially my father was always very concerned about me having some kind of a career that made lots of money right that was my dad and so he was like oh you should be you know why don't you put down architect cuz that's you know artistic but you know they make money you know or an engineer yeah yeah he was so I remember writing

architect and he had this idea I was going to go to this certain high school and then he definitely wanted me to go to this certain college and so I'd written all those down and um so fast forward I ended up going to college there and um again my father was paying for it and he was very involved um I was his only child so you know he was very involved in my life and wanted to make sure I was you know staying the course getting my my degree you know not goofing around not doing anything I shouldn't be doing and uh and also included he was pushing me to be a business major well at the time I was not bent that way at all and um so he kind of was pushing me to do something that wasn't I wasn't geared toward and I found it very very difficult I ended up I was starting to hate going to school and um I was really stressed out about this and one day oh I I was probably like a sophomore in college like toward the end and I was like I went to my dad and I was like Dad I need to talk to you I I really I don't want to be a business major and he's like oh well what do you want to do I said well I want to be an art major and I was expecting him to have an argument with me I was expecting him to go off and start talking about you know how stupid that'd be blah blah blah blah blah it was the complete opposite he said art oh that would be wonderful you should do that you should do that you haven't done art for years you're so good at it you should do that and it was so easy and it was like Wow and I just appreciated I appreciated him so much when that happened and I was so thankful um and then I had a good time the rest of my I mean I wanted to get through it and get done and get my degree but it was way easier um yeah it took a lot of stress off of my life and I'm thinking you know a lot of people get Str that's so so stressful trying to please your parents if it's not something that you're inclined to do right and that's why I think that that mandate to parents is so important because if you tune in to your child and figure out what they're good out and um encourage them and direct them in that direction then it's just you know it's easy yeah well and one of the other father's mandates is that us dads you know we we really get the short end of the stick in the scriptures I'm just saying but one one of the commands that that Paul gives of dads is not to exasperate his children mhm you know to to drive your child to anger right I think that that verse should be Proverbs 22:7 because verse 6 is train up your child according to how they gifted and bent and and geared and then verse 7 should be don't drive your children to anger cuz I think those two verses are really good bed fellows in my opinion they are and and one of the ways that that our that our dads our parents our grandparents could and probably did drive us to anger is to not hear us say this is who I am this is what I like this is what I'm into right you know and and and there and there's there's a really you know broad spectrum on on what that looks like mhm that's really cool Andy cuz I love the fact that your parents like you said recognized you know how you were bent at a young age and and pushed you yeah in in that direction my family was similar because I love to write I'm creative in that way oh yeah I I I'm I'm really gifted at public speaking and I love to write and that became pretty obvious when I was little like I remember as early as 4 years old and every at Christmas time every year until I was like 12 or 13 something like that uhuh the place where my grandfather worked would have a big huge Christmas party and I would go every year and recite the Night Before Christmas like the poem The Night Before Christmas I love that and I always would write you know I was very creative and I would write stories or I could could make up stories you know like time around the campfire with me at at church camp was always a hoot because I could make up these stories you know and so like sometimes as punishment for bad behavior in school my mother would ground me to my room and tell me that I couldn't come out until I had written a five-page story and then she would give me a topic oh really she would say you can't come out of your room until you've written a five-page story on thus and so oh interesting and I'd be so mad because you know you can't force creativity so I guess you're going to be there for a while so I was there for a long time but I would write these stories and my mother my stepdad like they would read them and they would be like you should be a writer a you know so I think you know between my my mother my stepdad and my grand grandfather especially that's a large reason why I like to write you know as much as I do now yeah um it it definitely helps with with writing sermons and you know prepping for doing prep work for podcast episodes or you know whatever and there's a lot of times where like uh Andy you've come to me and you're like I don't know what to say write something for me uh like you're the creative writer come on sure uh and another thing obviously is sports uh especially football I'm not gifted as much physically as I am mentally in athletics I mean I'm a big guy but I'm not I wasn't fast I was fast for my size but I wasn't quick but I could catch anything you threw at me uhhuh you know so my stepdad really pushed me in in football and if had he not done that I mean there were so many days where I did not want to go to practice Yeah uh especially as a as a kid I mean it's it's summer I'd rather be out swimming in Green Lake than than you know sweating to death in 90° down at Laurel Woodland field but it also didn't help that some of those years he was one of my coaches so I had to go but had my stepdad not pushed me in in the way that he did in regards to football let alone all sports although he was not a huge fan of baseball but I played baseball too I would have never been able to meet people like Bob Cooper who was my head coach for two years as a kid I would have never have met Fred S who was my high school football coach for two years I would have never met a man named Otis pige who worked with young life as a volunteer and discipled me as a Junior and senior in high school those three connections are three of what I call pillars in my life and had my stepdad not pushed me in my gift of football I would have never met those three men and I would have never had the opportunity to be a football coach myself and I coached for 19 years hundreds and hundreds of kids over 19 years wow and many of them have gone on to do amazing things as well yeah with me just duplicating what those pillars in my life poured into my life as a young athlete so there's another example of something that my parents got right yeah and in the moment I I I was stubborn and disobedient and pushing back and yet my parents knew especially my stepdad knew you're gifted you need to go and I didn't just become a good football player I became a student of the game like the ins and outs of the game huh and that contributed to me becoming a coach and it's so funny because the way that I coach football and the way that I Pastor are so similar they're so similar because I do both from the vantage point of love which is what Bob Cooper taught right so thank you Dad for that because that is a large reason why I am who I am today he definitely got that one right yep definitely one more thing that my that my parents got right providing for your family oh that was a big deal yeah big big deal uh almost to a fault in in my childhood you know seeing that with my parents but it instilled this this understanding that you got to take care of your family you got to take care of your family family comes first first family comes first and that evolved for lack of a better term into Andy you and I creating this thing we call home team mhm we started it with me and Gabriel our youngest son but it became all of us that we're home team and it's like you know the the circle of trust the circle of fire whatever you want to call the ring of fire whatever you want to call it like that's that's our thing and Home Team rocks the house and and we watch each other's back we love each other we care for each other we provide for each other and that's all for my upbringing too wow you know so what else you got well you know there were a handful of times when my dad really gave me some good advice and one time I was uh a teenager and I had a job working at a fast food restaurant and I'd been there for several years um well at this point I'd been there for at least at least a year my childhood Nemesis came to work for the same Burger Joint anyhow I'd already established a a core group of friends there and um you know when I was a kid in elementary school this girl and I we we'd got into some fights and we never really got along that well and when she started working there and realized that I was there I mean mind you we're 16 17 years old now M um she starts bringing up old stuff like with my co-workers and talking trash okay I don't need to go in the details but my I went home my friends had told me about it I went home really distraught because you know I wanted to try to get along with her it was my place of employment I it was a big deal to me I liked my job and I went and I told told my dad about it and he forced me to call her and straighten things out over the phone that was the last thing I wanted to do I begged and pleaded and he's like nope this is what you have to do you have to sit down pick up the phone and call handle your business it was I had to be so brave at 17 years old and mature to to face this um face to face or you know over the phone not face to face but still it was a big deal and really difficult to do but it changed everything and her and I squashed it over the phone you know he told me what he gave me an idea of what to say and I pretty much St you know stood my ground and told her you know that what happened in the past happened in the past and we were kids and we're not kids anymore and can't we just let bygones be bygones and start over and we did and it was cool and um you know I wouldn't say that she became a friend but we hung out a few times and we got along okay but in all of that you know backbiting stopped but my dad you know solved that problem in my life at that moment but he also taught me by making me do the hard thing and insisting that I do it it really taught me a lot it taught me a lot about overcoming my fear um it to taught me a lot about standing up for myself it taught me a lot about being brave um it taught me a lot about how to deal with a bully especially coming at it the way that I did the way he suggested it was just really it just taught me so much about myself my the doubts that I had about you know being able to fix a problem something that seemed impossible to fix I could you know with my words and by you know approaching things in the right way it really I can't it was so invaluable M he really taught me a lot in that moment just with that one example of how to handle a situation and would you would it be safe to say that it may have also taught you the importance of resolving an issue like as soon as you can yeah yeah cuz it was pretty much EX right away yeah yeah immediately but it's something that festered for years that went unresolved yeah and it probably needed for the two of you to be older and a little bit more mature to have that conversation in the first place mhm mhm yeah that's good stuff yeah cuz some man in our culture we just stuff it and vent on the socials right I'm so sure man it's I tell you what though it's a good thing the socials didn't exist when we were kids boy yeah we actually we actually had to pick up a telephone and call somebody if we wanted to talk to them yeah that's good yeah that's good stuff what about you my grandmother used to have this

saying let your light shine she would say that cuz like my senior year of high school I lived with my grandparents cuz my my parents moved to a different part of the you know like an hour south of Seattle oh yeah and if I would have moved with them I would have changed to a fourth high school so we had this long rough conversation um and they agreed to let me live with my grandparents my senior year so every morning my before I left the house to go to school my grandmother would always say heathi don't forget to let your light shine a and it wasn't until probably prob 10 12 years ago or so mhm that the memory of of her instilling that like as part of my daily routine M cuz every day heathy let your light shine heathy let your light shine you and I Andy we were at a grocery store and we were in the checkout and I don't remember the name of the the person that was on their name tag but I just I looked at their name tag and I saw their name and you know they're they're like a machine at the at the checkout right they're just like hey how are you today like they don't really care they're just like you know scanning their stuff or whatever and that's part of our culture too hey how's it going great all right sweet we don't really care it's just blah right I don't do that very well I'm not very good at Small Talk anyway but if somebody asks me how I'm doing I'm going to be like do you really want to know oh no like that's how real I am but anyway in this moment you and I are at the checkout stand and I and I and I just glanced down at the person's name tag and you know let's just say their name was Phillip mhm uh they were like hey how's it going I was like well Phillip I'm having a great day how's your day going and the shock and maybe Terror that came over this young man's face but his face lit up like a Christmas tree and he was like Wow sir which made me feel old wow sir thank you for asking and then he wouldn't shut up about how he was

doing but we're walking out to the car with our groceries and you look at me and you say honey it is amazing how you just love to make sure that everybody around you is having a good day yeah you just you just brighten everybody's day and it wasn't until that moment that I realized this this is also how I'm bent mhm because for all of my life and especially my last year of high school my grandmother said to me don't forget to let your light shine a and I love that you know as Christians we talk about being image bearers of Christ about being lightbearers mhm that's kind of what that looks like I think mhm and you know I just you know kind of what is it unconsciously or subconsciously sub uh have done that yeah and that's how I was trained up by my grandmother to to be that guy you know and the reality is is that I don't like being in a space that's dark like emotionally or mentally or even spiritually right I like I you know I like to you which is weird because at home I like a dark cold room but in life I like to manave yeah I like to throw open the metaphorical blinds and let the light in because I need I need I need Joy I need fun I need you know no tension no stress and whatever I can do to contribute to that that's what I'm doing and that comes from my grandmother right you know I mean it's it's nice to bless people with a smile or just you know just spreading Joy by the way that we communicate with others when we're out in public yeah it's so so much fun and I love watching you do it you know you know what's funny though is all the years of living in Seattle and nobody talks to each other in Seattle it's called the Seattle freeze yeah we moved down here to Salem and people talk to each other down here know and the first like year that we were here with someone someone would look at me with a smile on their face and be like hey how you doing today and I'd be like where's my wallet where's my [Music] keys you know what I'm saying yeah I was a little different yeah so I just I don't know that's I mean it's something I don't I don't know if that's trivial but it's it's just something that I think about a lot you know that God blessed my grandma for that you know cuz I was an Angry Kid I was an angry at the world kid and that was like the one thing that was bright about me was that I just wanted to make sure that everybody was okay I wanted to make sure that everybody was having a good day and if they weren't I needed to know how I could help them have a good day mhm and I think I'm pretty much like that now as an adult yeah so you got anything else honey so you mentioned your grandparents and I really was close to my dad's parents growing up and to my my great aunt so my Aunt Helen she didn't have any children but um it was fun to go over to her house and I just loved spending time with her you know the fact that she was um wanting to invest her life in my life I just appreciated her teaching me things and it wasn't anything like serious it was just like gardening like I'd go over and help her in the garden and then we would make a salad with the vegetables that she grew in her garden oh man that's awesome yeah and because of her always love the idea of having a garden and how cool it is to be able to grow your own vegetables and then like Harvest your vegetables bring them in the house and have like the best tasting salad ever I'll make sure you have a garden in California just saying but it was because of her and um her love for gardening and which was from my great grandma too and um actually my grandpa also gardened um and he would bring me um Italian prunes they're like little purple plums from his tree every year and things like that and I just think it's sweet like my grandparents we would they would always like bring little things like little tokens of love I think that their love language must have been giftgiving um because just a little thing like if they had some ripe Tomatoes they would bring them to me um so when they come to visit and my grandma would bring like a little roll of Lifesavers or just little stuff like that oh yes every time I'd see them they'd have like a little something for me my grandparents always had Tic Tacs yeah like they were thinking of me and they wanted to share you know a little bit of little something and so it was really cool like and when I would go over there I'd bring like maybe some bananas or I mean I don't know just anything um at times would make something I'd bring them bring them over and share it with them and and that's just how we operated and I just really love that that was just something I don't know if other families do that but um well now I know where you got your hospitality je from that's something you and I also have in common yeah that we learned from our grandparents generation exactly that is so cool yeah and my grandparents would take me to church and so would my aunt hel and they they all took me to church and um yeah I just really enjoyed being with them yeah well this has been fun I I we we have a lot more things on our list we we could do probably two more episodes about this and I'm sorry that we need to cut it short because we'll be here all day well I think that my intention of really wanting to do this episode is to talk about um so many times times in our culture we are um bashing our parents and it's like you were mentioning it's easy to talk about the things that you know we don't want to emulate or duplicate um things that we grew up with that we didn't like the ways that our parents got things wrong but um I you know I was reading in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5 if I could read this really quickly um starting in verse 12 and it says um on Christian conduct but we request of you Brethren that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you and have charge over you and the Lord and give you instruction that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work live in peace with one another and I know that that could be you know looking at it from lots of different ways like it could be like your boss it could be almost anybody but you church leaders could be church leaders yeah but um you know God selected your mom and your dad for you I mean he knit you together in your mother's womb he picked those two people or you know however many parents you end up with but he picks those people to be in your life for a reason and uh he knows what he's doing and to be thankful and appreciate them and esteem them them it says esteem them very highly in love my parents weren't perfect you know there were a lot of things that they did that I didn't like a lot of things that I grew up with that I didn't appreciate or that I didn't I don't want to emulate but I don't want to focus on that I think you know maturity healing growth love you know you focus on the things that they did do right and those things you know love covers all sins and if you focus on the love and the things that they got right it's a good start Amen to that well I want to send a shout out a special shout out to my bonus mom Linda Layman because she was a major contributor to my journey also in becoming a pastor M uh and along those lines you know we just want to say a big huge thank you to our parents our stepparents our grandparents our bonus parents all of the men and women who were adults when we were still kids thank you for training us up in the way that we should go because we are older and we haven't departed from it and we haven't departed from it so we thank you for blessing us with the love of God in the way that you did and that's all we have to say about that!

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